Heidi Klum is the Smurf Goddess of Death
photos: ladythrills.com
In this post I am not going to write about smurfs. All nerds who collected them in their childhood will be slightly disappointed, I know. But there is a much more serious topic I have to bitch about this time.
Perhaps you have recognized her. In the picture above you can see Germany’s self-proclaimed most famous top model: Heidi Klum. For last year’s Halloween she offended the hinduistic culture by dressing up as the goddess Kali who stands for destruction and despair. Although I think that the costume itself is quite cool I still have to wonder if Ms. Klum and her annoying TV spectacle Germany’s Trashiest Model is indeed the destruction of the German fashion scene. More thoughts and funny pictures of smurfed-up Heidi after the jump.
I want to keep it short for our English readers. If you want the more elaborate version of the post please click on the German flag.
Last week we received a press release telling us that the small Berlin-based label Majaco will be part of the live walk showed at the next episode of Germany’s Next Topmodel. I was quite happy about it, because to me it meant that even small labels can get the chance to be promoted on mainstream television. But this assumption turned out to be more than wrong.
Early in the episode fashion giant Castro was worn on the runway by the wannabe models being described as a designer label or high class brand. You could totally tell that Castro had paid a lot of cash to become part of this episode. Later on when the epical live walk was due, nobody cared anymore what designers the girls were wearing. The only thing that mattered was their more than boring performance on the catwalk. Majaco wasn’t even mentioned.
I mean, I wasn’t so surprised after all that the big players in the fashion industry have the power to buy their air time and small labels don’t. What’s so sad about it is that in a way Kali Klum really seems to be the goddess of destruction. Without even meaning to she destroys all good taste Germans have left in their brains. Perhaps I am exaggerating but I am sure that mainstream television has a big influence in the fashion taste of millions of people. So it’s more than upsetting that tasteless brands like Ed Hardy or Castro can influence so many people’s opinions just with the right amount of money.
In the end I was so glad when Heidi announced that she and her entourage of circus freaks would leave Berlin and head on to the big and glorious LA. Thanks for leaving, Heidi. Berlin doesn’t need you and your support for sure.
by Claudio
on March 2nd, 2009
in Fashion, Misc.
24 Comments »
March 2nd, 2009 at 19:58h
Germany’s Next Top Model steht zumindest in einem Punkt den anderen Castingshows der deutschen Fernsehlandschaft in nichts nach: dem schamlosen und aufdringlichen Durchziehen rein wirtschaftlicher Interessen. Die Show dient doch in erster Linie der Profilierung und Bereicherung der Marke Klum. Die Frau holt auch gleich alle ihre Werbepartner von McDonald’s bis C&A an Bord und sorgt dafür, dass jeder, der das nötige Kleingeld auf den Tisch legt, seine Platzreservierung in der epischen Revue Economy’s Next Top Seller bekommt. Gatte Seal darf natürlich auch nicht fehlen und auch die anderen Personen hinter der Show dürfen ihre Arbeitgeber und Werbepartner mit an Bord holen.
So fungiert die Serie letztlich als zweistündige Dauerwerbesendung, bei der jedem deutschen Mädchen das Ideal von einem Plastik-Traum à la Heidi Klum eingepflanzt wird; der Weg zur Verwirklichung des selbigen führt selbstverständlich nur über die angepriesenen Namen und Marken.
Schon seltsam, wenn man heute von den ehemaligen “Top-Models” nur noch dann hört, wenn sie auf der letzten VIP-Party tumb in die Kamera gelächelt haben. Die einzige Gewinnerin ist für mich Wanda aus der letzten Staffel, die jetzt ihren Weg zurück ins Musicalleben gefunden und mit der Laufstegwelt nichts mehr am Hut hat.
Aber sonst ist das doch der Jahrmarkt der Eitelkeit unserer Zeit…
March 2nd, 2009 at 21:16h
Chanel-Zausel Karl Lagerfeld: „Heidi Klum kenne ich nicht, in Frankreich hat es sie nie gegeben”. Selbst das Filzlausgesichtige Mode-Plastinat Wolfgang Joop findet in seinen wenigen koksfreien Momenten doch auch mal die richtigen Worte: „Heidi Klum ist einfach zu schwer, hat vielleicht sogar zu viel Oberweite. Und sie grinst geradezu dümmlich. Das ist nicht Avantgarde – das ist Werbung!“ Mehr muss man dazu auch wirklich nicht sagen. Eine dumme Fotze. Ach, ich wünschte mir so sehr eine Mode-R.A.F.! Bumm Bumm AUS! Aus ihren Plastikmöpsen könnte man tolle Alessi-Aschenbecher machen und aus dem hässlichen Gesicht von Klum-Ficker Seal eine bezaubernde Parmesan-Reibe (reichlich Noppen und Narben sind ja zahlreich vorhanden. Einfach Ekelhaft!) Das Motto des Tages lautet daher: Dumm, dümmer, Klum!
March 2nd, 2009 at 22:36h
Dem wäre nur noch eins hinzuzufügen: Have a look.
March 3rd, 2009 at 06:43h
Thanks god that succsseful talented people never give a damn to people do nothing but hate, jealous and envy, Now let’s see about your Berlin, what does Berlin has to do with fashion, every time I hear about Berlin I just remember Adolph,OK so we just have another failure joining joop and karl, well stand in the queue Mr Berlin, and by the way you tell those idiots who comment in an English language site to do it in English language, or they better shut up if they are dumbs, and who say that Heidi klum needs Berlin when she got NY and L A ,think about that dummy. Berlin ??HAHAHA!!!!
March 3rd, 2009 at 08:01h
You will never find a creative person who slams another creative.It’s only done by those who lack talents.Pity for those failures, they do their best trying to throw dirts on talented creative persons, but unfortunately -or indeed fortunately- the good wind return it back and dirts insist to stick and keep on those who throws it ,for dirts always stay in dirts. and I wonder why it’s always when Heidi starts a new season of -German Next Top Model- all of failure people start the fuss and the campaign organized by failures, if you don’t like it try to produce your own version, only a cripple who hates activity in healthy people.
March 3rd, 2009 at 13:17h
Hi Simon/Artforlife/Heidi-Friend, our site is in English AND German that’s why people comment in both languages and I don’t need you telling them what languages are allowed here. Obviously you did not read the article at all as we did not trash Heidi but criticized her for her hypocrisy of claiming to support young designers and than not even mentioning them when she has them on her show.
And you have nothing else to do then bring up the Hitler thing totally out of the blue. How can we ever take you serious with that….
March 3rd, 2009 at 13:54h
Well hi frank.1-I assume that you are that frank who was sued a month ago by Heidi lawers,so I pity for you again, and as I say before it’s a party of hate well orgnized by some failures.2- you put this blog in English,so those who comment must respect your aims. they can post their comments in German in the geman site unless they are ignrants or they are rented by the orgnizers to complete the hate show,I don’t know what they said so it’s unfair to us ’3- I’m not a friend of Heidi or either living in USA but I hate those who are real mean with the desire to hurt others. just out of jealous.4- now about destruction you mentioned , the facts said that this Indian godess is of myth . an illusion but the painful fact is that every single person on the planet knows who was the man and the city who is the real most horrible destruction that took million of souls creative, so that’s why Berlin remind me of him,got it Frank,please don’t be offended,and as Heidi say “auf….”.
March 3rd, 2009 at 14:34h
I only see one failure here. foolforlife….
March 3rd, 2009 at 15:36h
Nice of you lazy babe , stand in the queue and try to be polite kid,but any way what has you to do with this ?, are you a recently rented his master’s voice, or a stupid volunteer,but really I’m happy to find some idiot who can put it in English..keep out of this lazy.it’s beyond your bear, unless you want it then welcome, now frank about hypocrisy,I am sure it’s you who are hypocrite, claiming that no designer name is mentioned.and I guess you mean “Project Runway, well I’m living thousands miles away of NY but I can give you all the names since the very begining,but if you are talking about the last season #6 then you are either the real hypocrite or the totally ignorant blogger for #6 is not yet aired but if you are talking about German top model,then it’s a disaster not to know the three girls who won,..frank please be honest..lazy babe, please be a nice girl and run to bed .
March 3rd, 2009 at 16:03h
ehm, did I ever mention Project Runway? I think not, so why do you assume that I talk about an unaired season of PR? I am not the author of this post in case you haven’t noticed. and I am still under the impression that you haven’t really read the article at all. I think it is pretty clear what the author is complaining about. nobody said anything about the contestants of PR or GNTM. we are talking about the designers whose clothes were featured on the last episode of GNTM.
and I would really appriciate it if you would stop bashing our readers. anybody should feel free to comment on you, just like you feel free to comment on this article. although you haven’t presented much of a relevance to the actual article, yet. but hey, it’s a free world.
March 3rd, 2009 at 16:06h
oh Mann, da ist man für einige Sekunden nicht auf der Seite, schon bricht hier ein Desaster aus…
@artforlife
Hab alles gelesen und schreibe dennoch auf Deutsch. Ich glaube du verstehst das nur allzu gut. Ich weiß gar nicht was dein Problem ist, iheartberlin mag Heidi nicht, ich kann sie auch nicht ausstehen und das hat nichts mit Eifersucht zu tun. Ich sehe das wie unser solariengebräunter Wolfgang, kein Mensch in der Modewelt grinst die ganze Zeit dämlich vor sich hin.
Heidi Klum ist das weibliche Pendant zu Dieter Bohlen und die Show ist im Moment nichts anderes als ein Abklatsch von DSDS.
Schaut man sich das gleiche Format in Amerika an, dann merkt man deutlich was ich meine und das liegt nicht an den Kanidatinnen, sondern vor allen an dem authentischen Auftreten der Moderatorin Tyra Banks, die ich für ihre Art und ihren Humor verehre.
Wer jetzt will, dem kann ich das alles gerne noch in drei weiteren Sprachen zumailen.
Schönen Tag noch …
@artforlife it’s obvious that you don’t like Berlin, i wonder what you are doing here, this site is called iHEARTberlin ????
March 3rd, 2009 at 16:37h
ich stimme zwar prinzipiell zu: schade, dass majaco voellig untergeht. aber man sollte nicht vergessen, dass es sich bei erwaehntem format um eine produktion eines privaten senders handelt, welche bekanntlich noch nie darauf ausgelegt waren a) objektiv, b) unkommerziell oder c) kulturrelevant zu sein. es ist nur naheliegend, dass der partner, der die interessen der produzenten ($) am ehesten befriedigen kann, die groesste aufmerksamkeit bekommt.
ps: dont feed the troll people.
March 3rd, 2009 at 19:15h
well Frank I appreciate your good manners,and I have to admit that I’m really in love with Germany and Germans for I happened to be there and spent a great time in the eighties of the last century,and I appreciate all the talented hard working Germans including Heidi klum, a multi-talents successful woman and mother with a strong will, and I am not claiming that she is above criticizing but fair judging is in demand avoiding racism, or success hating and I’m sure you understand what I’m talking about, have a nice evening, hey by the way what do you think about the new album “soul”..!!!
March 3rd, 2009 at 19:31h
Hey I forgot to say that Simon templar is a saint and again it’s no good to post in a German while it is an English site ,it’s real evil, the tt is kind of a loco from swede,
March 4th, 2009 at 15:35h
oje, hier gehts ja ab!vielleicht sollte man die englisch-option rausnehmen, war irgendwie zu erwarten, dass dann schnell wieder hitler und rassismus etc. eingeworfen werden.
achso, wobei ich die debatte um heidi müßig finde. meine güte das ost pro7 und keine doku auf arte!also, wer was intellektuell anspruchsvolles sucht, der liest einen habermas und wer was ehrliches sucht, der guckt eh kein fernsehen!
aber die klamotten von majaco sind schön!
March 4th, 2009 at 17:55h
wow, i was first attracted by this strange blue heidi, but was not expecting reading such hatefull comments about this post!!!
some people need to chill out. what’s wrong about saying that Germany’s next top model is a tasteless tv programm that does not bring anything to this world?
March 4th, 2009 at 18:08h
thanks mai!
March 4th, 2009 at 20:08h
unfortunately, the comments of both the English and the German version of the posts come together in one listing. technically that’s just how it is at the moment.
March 13th, 2009 at 22:42h
Please refrain from dissing circus freaks in the future. They are big step up from the likes of Berlin’s fashion victim hipsters.
March 15th, 2009 at 21:43h
heidi klum is a business model. She is also the biggest Kotzbrocken around
March 16th, 2009 at 23:30h
@Bob Dobb I am sorry! Indeed I am a big circus fan. I will not use circus freaks as metaphor again.
@doc I am glad you see it this way!
August 4th, 2009 at 09:41h
you can definitely tell that Hedi Klum is a very sexy woman. even after delivering several babies and being a mother at the same time, she still has a very good figure.
September 13th, 2009 at 08:35h
Heidi Klum has some really good beauty genes. wish i could also have a wife that is as beautiful as her.
October 8th, 2009 at 08:53h
Heidi Klum for me is the sexiest model in the Victoria Secret Angels. Seal is a very very lucky guy to marry Heidi.