A Speech for more High Quality Smalltalk
Seeing myself in the Berlin nightlife as an individual again, you realise a lot of unspoken things. For instance, most conversations you have on a night out in the town with strangers are consistently bullshit. Why is it that Berliners are not able to make pleasant smalltalk? Are they too afraid of not being intellectual enough to start a conversation with something other than: Hey, what’s up? Or are they not able to string decent bla-blas together without staring at your tits or your dick and unmistakably just wanting that “one thing”? More bla-bla thoughts after the jump.
Talking to my tits?
Coming from a land where talking means life and life is only worth living from the moment you can speak, I certainly have a different way of thinking about smalltalk compared to the the average German guy or girl in town. In fact, I am not a big fan of smalltalk myself. But on the other hand, effortless conversations don’t happen either in the Volksbühnen-Kantine after a really disturbing theatre performance which leaves you with cultural indigestion. So what I am saying is, I miss a certain standard of quality smalltalk here in Berlin. I’m talking about the kind of conversation you have with a stranger, which stays in your mind for a long time not because it was so inspiring, but because it was pure and simply funny and enjoyable. In a way, good smalltalk with a person that you’re attracted to could in fact be more exciting and memorable than a one night stand.
Talk to the hand!
Well, not everybody thinks like that. Last weekend, a girlfriend of mine was approached by a stranger and after only a minute they had an amazingly hilarious conversation which I followed for 10 minutes. After that, I excused myself gentleman-style from the conversation and left them alone, hoping for big love to happen. But after a while my friend came back to join me on the dance floor. When I asked about the super cool guy she nonchalantly said that he just wasn’t her type and that she’s looking for a “hotter and more sexy” guy right now. I was shocked. Apparently not everyone appreciates spontaneous conversation as much as I do. Still, I will not stop looking for my perfect BLABLABLA in this town full of silence. No wonder Berlin is the capital of Techno. Believe me, it was invented as the perfect excuse not to talk to anyone.
by C.R.
on September 28th, 2009
in Stories
September 28th, 2009 at 16:24h
schöner text. ich kann total nachvollziehen, was du meinst. allerdings bin ich auch eher ungeschickt im small talk. ich glaube, dass gute gespräche, also so eines wie du es beschreibst, schon spontan auch im Nachtleben aber eben mit der richtigen person entstehen können.
September 28th, 2009 at 18:05h
chapeau!
September 28th, 2009 at 20:08h
best observation about berlin people!
basically if u get to small talk with someone be sure he/she is probably not from berlin!
September 28th, 2009 at 21:04h
sooo… what do you do? where are you from? where do you life? oh yeah, right, that place is so over, but have you been to that other place. yes, inglorious bastards was great, especially that one scene… blablabla.
when will somebody ask me instead what i’m interested in, if i have ever been to takatukkaland or how pineapples taste in greenland. whatever, please just do NOT ask about my eyebrow and/or make jokes about my last name =)
September 28th, 2009 at 21:23h
But Mrs. Frech,
your eybrow is so unique….
September 29th, 2009 at 01:13h
ich weiß was du meinst…vielleicht liegt es daran, dass viele hippe berliner sich davor fürchten, ihre glitzernde fassade zu verlieren. dann könnte man nämlich erkennen, dass neben den bunten klamotten eine person hinter party steht, die genau die gleiche scheiße frisst wie man selbst und den selben zuckerguss vom leben kostet. vielleicht liege ich aber auch falsch.
ich hatte letztens eine schöne situation in der ubahn: da saßen sich vier leute gegenüber und plötzlich fragte eine ältere frau in die runde, warum man sich denn immer so anschweigen müsse. es wäre ihrer meinung nach doch viel schöner, erfrischender, wenn man die gemeinsame fahrtzeit zum reden nutzen könnte. daraufhin entfalmmte ein gespräch und alle waren sich einig, dass sie recht habe.
naiv, süß und ehrlich…mag das.
October 1st, 2009 at 09:50h
so true! berliners need to take it easy and open up a bit… its really boring to look at figures just “trembling” on technomusik on the dancefloors and not saying a word to each other during the whole night….
October 1st, 2009 at 19:54h
ahhh…words of wisdom my friend
miss you too! xx ps: i want that necklace! 
November 30th, 2009 at 04:34h
Actually this text is closed-minded and so full of stereotypes and basically I think they are not true. If you experience that in your environment you are in the wrong locations or with the wrong people or did not understand german culture
The word small talk implicates for me already a superficial element…
Is it too ordinary smalltalk if I ask which country are you from (where talking means life)?
November 30th, 2009 at 14:53h
Yeah the text plays with stereotypes, for sure. And for sure not all my assumptions( not based on any statistic or hard facts) are 100% right. But you have to give me the chance to describe my subjective impressions of nightlife! And how you see in the comments some people seem to agree wih me. Ah and I hope you gave me the right email-adress because i will write you there which country I am from.
I am to shy to say it out loud here. hehe
December 9th, 2009 at 05:02h
Hei Claudio,
thanks for your answer. Just wanted to know because it is kind of strange if you write about people from one city or country and compare it with your country without mention your own country.
Actually I think “high quality smalltalk” is more easy to find in Berlin than in for example the United States or Spain. Its more common here to have good and deep conversation about “hard” stuff. The challenge is that mainly such conversations do not fit into a normal party with music, excessive people and a kind of hedonistic lifestyle (don’t want to criticise that…just a thought). Happens more in bars, with closer friends in general with topics both sides are really interested in.
But maybe that is not meant from you with “quality smalltalk”. I guess smalltalk, as mentioned by you, always has this superficial component germans and Berliners generally have a problem. But as soon as you know them better this first disadvantage is a big advantage.
Greetings Mario