You like him. But you’re also not really sure you do; The lights were dim, the exchange all too limited due to the loud music, and as it’s well known, a 4 can turn into an 8, maybe 9, depending on the amount of vodka shots consumed. But you did give him your number and now he asked you out. Or, more petrifying, an online date: He sounds funny on text, he looks cute in the pictures, but there’s always a more than 50% chance this could be all miles away from how he is in person.
How do you prep yourself to set out on this frightening adventure, that’s called a first date? The thing with first dates, they can be so awkward. Even a good first date, still has some good grimacing-emoji moments. It’s two people with zero or little idea of who the other is, trying to figure each other out by a series of questions, that need to be insightful and yet not creepy, and then when they answer questions they must reveal enough, but not too much, cause then where will the mystery go?
Essentially, what we hope for is not the perfect first date (and yes, YOU, that has the perfect first dates all the time where everything is just smooth and breezy cause you’re just so social and cool, I’m not talking to you – this one goes out to all my awkward fellas in the house), but instead, how to minimize the awkwardness, while ending up extracting from our potential mate enough data to take to the lab, and make an informed decision: Tricky, very tricky.
A little piece of wisdom Andy didn’t hesitate to share with me, when it comes to planning a first date was, “the more intimate the date, the harder you can get out of it”. I’m not being a Debbie Downer, but what if you actually do want to get out of it, and you’re at your date’s house for a glass of wine at the terrace (Seriously, what’s the fantasy here, who are you dating with a terrace? But anyway, play along), how do you get out of that? Thinking about it alone made me sweat. And as we’re coming to terms with the fact that spontaneous perfect dates are left for movie characters, we need to strategically plan a potential itinerary that grants us an easy exit point in case things go wrong.
Base 1: The Wide Open
Aiming at as stress-free as possible an open space – a walk in the park for example – might be your best option. It is the true winner of all date planning – given that the weather does you the favor. A walk in the park (or basically any walk anywhere) allows enough room between you, and no necessary eye contact the whole time – BIG potential awkwardness factors. Another thing you don’t need to worry about is lack of topics: after having reached for your last dreams-hopes-aspirations question, you can always look around you and go “Oh look! Stuff!” initiating a convo from all the stimuli you’ll be getting from your surroundings. Perhaps you grab an ice cream or a coffee-to-go, always keeping it cazz. The park option also caters to the claustrophobic in you, as you feel like you can run away any time you choose; I mean Tempelhof Feld was literally designed for people to take off.
Suggestions for base 1:
- Stroll around Tempelhofer Feld
- Hang out at Holzmarkt
- Walk down Kastanienallee or Warschauer Straße
Base 2: Getting Cosy
Depending on how things go, a walk can be a 10 minute thing, after which you give them the Chandler classic “This was great, we should do it again sometime!” and never again do. Or it goes well. They’re charming, witty, fun and you don’t wanna stop spending time with them just yet: after they passed the first test they deserve a one-on-one interaction, in order for you get to know a thing or two more about them, so a nice café is a way to go. While still being casual, coffee again can’t be dragged for too long – how slow can one sip their coffee?! Dinner would work just as well, although it presupposes a longer time spent together, lots of chewing, as well as a potential shortage in topics, ending up at the dread that is talking about the weather. It can still be cute though, if you go for a quick bite- if all goes wrong you’ll still have a full stomach.
Suggestions for base 2:
- Have a coffee at ORA
- Get cosy at Two and Two
- Enjoy dinner in the bus at Cafe Pförtner
Base 3: Getting Closer
If, however, they pass the second test, it means we got something we really can work with: a bar at that point is the next logical step, getting them tipsy will show you a looser version of them, if it’s a dance bar you may check out their butt while they move it- or if you’re dating a non-responsive-to-music-just-swinging-their-head-slightly-while-holding-their-drink, you can seduce them with your (butt) dance moves. That stage is the real indicator of how things went for the both of you: either it is a turn-off, and you politely say goodbye after one drink, ooooor…
Suggestions for base 3:
- Enjoy a Negroni at Bar Milano
- Have a cocktail at Twinpigs
- Cheers with a wine at Hotel
Base 4: Down to Business
…well, what is left?! Yes, the extra bonus stage, which is to see each other naked. Depending on how brave you are, you can either explicitly suggest it, or, alternatively, you can ask them back for one last drink at home. In the case of this bonus stage realizing itself, never forget a condom. Yay for passion and sexiness but better safe than sorry! Otherwise, may I refer you to our safety guide.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, remember that dating is beautiful and fun (if it was just awkward I think we’d have left it behind us as a species by now) but pat yourself on the shoulder because it requires courage; meanwhile you have Berlin guiding it, the perfect background for even the worst dates; and ultimately your one, true partner you’ll never run out of topics with.
