Don’t waste your Love on a Cuckoo’s Child

clocks by Stefan Strumbel

Madhouse Berlin – Therapy Session Nr. 3

You think the Ku Klux Clan is scary? Well, then you’ve never met the Cuckoos Clan here in Berlin. The members of this clan are the scary cuckoo’s children. These people prefer to find an easy way into your nest rather than building one of their own. Tips on how to recognise them, classify them to ensure that us little birdies still get our life-supply of worms and more funny clocks from Stefan Strumbel after the cheep!


photos by Ruediger Glatz

Cuckoo’s children cross our paths more often than we wish for. Sometimes they are the uninvited party guests that gobble up the fresh catering. Or they are the flat mate with dirty toilet habits and the tendency to blast their preferred playlists (which of course does not reflect your music taste at all) at 4 in the morning. More often than not, the really annoying stuff are the small things. Like the guy that adds all your friends on Facebook to his account when you know that he doesn’t even like them. Or the sexy party flirt that proves, when it comes to kissing, has a tongue more dead than your grandmother’s toe.

How can one recognise them quickly, you wonder? Well, just talk to them and see if the main conversation consists of you posing questions and the other one rambling eloquently (read: endlessly) about his wonderful life, while never bothering to aks about yours. Then you know that there might be a a clan member on to you.


So, you think these kind of people are easy to avoid? Wrong!!! Like the real cuckoos that delude the sparrow mother into thinking that this fat ugly monster is her own, this Cuckoo Berliner has its ways to get to your emotions. So they are far more dangerous than a generic parasite. You actually believe that these friends, flirts, companions or whatever you’d like to call them are real and honest with you. But the truth is, they just want your little worms and your warm nest.

Well, as for me, I am not an eagle but rather more the little sparrow type. But I’ve learnt a technique from our German friends down South that works perfectly to get these shitheads out of your life. Gather them up in an imaginary net, put them into a big imaginary cuckoo’s clock and get them to do what they’re best at – cuckooing! That’s probably the only way to save yourself from the danger of being hit by the dreaded Cuckoos Clan!

pictures via

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<a href="" target="_self">Claudio</a>