It’s been quite a while now since we wrote something about love on this blog with the big heart for Berlin. Actually, falling in love in Berlin (not with) especially in summer is quite awesome. But even if the city is full of cute, interesting and good looking people, meeting the right one at the right time and with the right emotional state seems pretty impossible. Looking accurately into it and discussing the problem with my friends, I realized that a lot of people lack in the basic knowledge on how to flirt at all. That is why I decided to write some funky flirting tutorials for you that may help you to conquer the heart of the strangers in this big anonymous city.
This week I would like to give the U-Bahn crush some attention (you know I have a special thing for the Berlin subway). I got inspired to do this by the very romantic pictures of the wedding from Serena and Melissa in New York I found on the website of photographer Calvina Nguyen. The two girls met each other in NYC and wanted to dedicate their wedding to the city and the subway. If you want to share a similar faith maybe my 10 ways of how to meet the good looking stranger in the subway can help you to do so, after the jump.
At first let’s analyze the target of desire. What is actually the perfect U-Bahn crush? In my experience somebody who by entering the subway wagon rises your body temperature, makes the lights brighter and somehow even changes your perception of time between stations. This never happens to you? Well I have to confess my experience of emotions can be pretty extreme. What happens more often is that you regularly have to take the same subway at a similar time of the day and you encounter somebody repeatedly that, over the weeks and months, you start to fantasize about. Where is she/he going? What is she/he doing? Is she/he single? Creating 1000 maybe`s and no certainty whatsoever!.
But since fantasizing doesn’t bring us any real live cuddling here comes some advice to get know your subject of desire.
1. Headphones off: If you are into music – good for you, but not so good for your flirting in the subway. So take them off if you see someone interesting entering the wagon. First step to a conversation is being ready for a conversation.
photo: Erin Nevervis
2. Smile at any circumstance: I always try to remind myself how more attractive people look when they have a subtle smile on their face. Always try to have a positive thought coming around the corner if you see someone you find interesting. But please don’t exaggerate – in this city smiling too much sadly makes people think you are on drugs.
3. First act, than think and never be ashamed: Somebody gorgeous steps next to you and looks at you? Don’t start thinking about what to say. Just say something random like: Oh, the sun is stunning today! (ok, maybe this phrase is pretty improbable in Berlin) Or just pretend to have a question like: Do you know how to get to Volksbühne? Most hook-up lines in clubs or bars are random banalities. Why not try them in another more relaxed environment? Most importantly: Never be ashamed and worry what the other passengers might think. They are just the extras to the big story that is going to happen right in front of you. So please don’t worry about everyone else.
photo: Rob Boudon
4. Help: Somebody has a problem with his heavy bike, kinderwagen, trolley whatsoever? Don’t just stand there but do something instead. Be helpful and attentive. Obviously not only with people you are attracted to, but with everyone. You will see how your own attraction level rises by being a polite and social attentive person.
photo: Nuria Fatych
5. Don’t complain but entertain: If there is a delay or something goes wrong with the transport system, don’t be part of the angry gasping hater group. Yes, it is annoying that you are coming late to work etc. But it can be a wonderful opportunity to look around who is in the same situation and might be happy to share a joke and some funny comments about the struggles of the urban jungle.
6. Be loud: If you are sitting there all quite and shy, you will probably not be talked to. We are in Germany, the nation of public privacy where everybody wants to be left alone. If you don’t want to be alone, talking to somebody or and laughing (appropriately) loud can help to catch some attention. Some remarks about being single also can help if you see someone being indecisive to make a move.
7. Be curious: If someone is wearing a funny outfit, a crazy hat, or has a beautiful bag and you are wondering where it is from than ask about it. People wearing something outgoing or special always love to talk about it. And everybody loves compliment from strangers.
8. Strategic Seating: Finding the right spot to start the flirt is sometimes the trickiest thing in hunting the U-Bahn crush. Advanced flirters can be fierce and bold and just sit next to him/her or right in front of him. For everyone else I recommend diagonal positioning (just don’t be to anal about finding the right spot, it will just make yourself insecure).
9. Leave prejudices at home: Riding the Berlin subway can be a mental ride full of stereotypes. There is the hipster girl, there the arty farty students, and over there the guy who sells Döner. Well, actually you don’t know yet who is riding with you in the subway until you talked with everyone in it. Stereotyping people keeps yourself from actually being open for new experiences and to talk to someone unexpected.
photo: Adam Lederer
10. Don’t give up: You did everything right and still the conversation you had with the pretty blonde girl, was just boring and unaffectionate. Well, don’t give up just because it did not work this time. The subway is a perfect closed space to meet strangers that maybe have nothing in common with you except them being there at the same time and in the same place. It’s a unique opportunity to meet any sort of people you might get together with or maybe just be friends or acquaintances one day. Never forget that flirting is also about the fun of it. So never take it too serious but start enjoy it as much as you can.
You still think getting to know somebody from the subway is totally impossible and just an urban myth? Or did it happen to you already and you are happy ever after with it and planning your subway-wedding? I would love if you could share some stories with us and maybe some other ideas and tips you have on the subject in the comments.