photo: Eylül Aslan
Berlin might be a disaster when it comes to airports but at least we have an overabundance of low-cost-airlines to choose from. And while hundreds of people come to Berlin to get their rocks off every weekend, I prefer to travel and, as some of you might remember my column on the terrible truth about the German man, I have reason enough.
photo: Eylül Aslan
I don’t believe in airing my dirty laundry in public. I know how unconvincing that sounds coming from someone who writes a dating column that heavily features her private life, (shut up! You know you love it) but after having the issue resurface several times over several months, I do have to give the issue of social media hygiene a personal treatment.
Sometimes I wish Facebook had a “your ex is not going to this event” feature. Or better yet, there should be a feature that lets you confirm events and then the designated persona non grata would be unable to confirm, or even see, the event.
artwork: Eugenia Loli / CC*
“Men are all the same, just pick the richest one” seems like a solid framework for the jaded urbanite interested in dating men. I’m not classist, I went out with starving artists left and right, but sometimes a girl needs more than hard dick/clit and Späti beer.
I have toyed with the idea of dating someone with a thick bank account and a thin thread of life after an ex-partner suggested that “the lifestyle would suit” me. And of course I’d love to be the “personal assistant” and bed warmer for Gloria Swanson’s Norma Desmond, but my chances of ending up with some Berlin (read: far less wealthy) version of J. Howard Marshall are much better.
photos: Victor Matheus Diniz
“So, how did you two meet?” I hear myself ask.
15 years ago the Berlin duo Stereo Total sang about threesomes and here I was, the summer of 2015, meeting another couple for what feels like a therapy session but is really a vetting meeting for a possible threesome. How did I end up with yet another “straight” couple that is queering up their existence with a shared Tinder profile, my dear reader? The answer is simple: Because I’m an excellent middle ground for any couple. I’m cute enough to not be intimidating yet hot enough to provoke desire. I’m running an unregistered non-profit. Headquarters? My pants.
Since I started dating I’ve always gone international. There are only a few European countries I haven’t planted my metaphorical flag (yes, this is a dick joke about my metaphorically huge dick). There is only one country whose men (and only men) I try to avoid: Germany. “Why? What have German men ever done to deserve this?” I hear you say, my dear reader. Well, I’m glad you asked…
photo: Rowena Waack / CC
My name is Alix Berber. I’m a girl. I’m in my twenties. I’m bisexual. And my plan is to find Mr. or Mrs. Right(-ish). I’m here to take you on a journey, my dear reader. It will probably be a disastrous (and hopefully entertaining) ride, fueled by bad decisions, online-dating and all the madness that Berlin has to offer.
We all know that one couple that has been a solid, loving fixture on the canvas that is your social circle in Berlin. They’re not crazy in love (well, not anymore) but they stand on a solid platform of mutual affection and comfort. Look at them, marvel in their happy-ish-ness.
They’ll break up – that I promise you.
As winter is slowly pulling its icy blanket off of Berlin and spring is upon us, people emerge from hibernation, ready to sow their wild oats. In the wake of weeks of hormonal frolicking I decided to equip you, my dear reader, with a guide on how to briefly enjoy the perks of human company without the backlash of commitment or post-coital crying.