Is everyone on a love diet now? Love is treated in a similarly small-minded way, like the pleasure of giving gifts, which has fallen into disrepute for years.
People are just as stingy with love as they are with everything else. The only exception is self-love. It seems one can’t be generous enough when it comes to this topic. Charity and romantic love are often left to starve. Everyone goes to therapy, but hardly anyone does voluntary work.
When it comes to dating in Berlin, things are not quite as black and white as you imagine. There are all these different new ways of life and love we have come to accept here and it only proves the liberal spirit of the city we love so much,
But where are you on the spectrum of love? For our book Like A Berliner (which by the way makes for an excellent Christmas present – order it here!) we sat together with illustrator Sophia Halamoda and came up with a smart little game of questions and answers that will solve the riddle and define what dating type you are.
photos: Eylül Aslan.
Berlin’s dating scene is shaped by three important factors. First of all, mostly thanks to its kinky parties, Berlin is a city commonly characterized by a spirit of sexual liberation. Secondly, while it’s a popular choice for international expatriates, some see it as an ultimate destination, and others as a temporary stop. And finally, the notion of “finding yourself” in Berlin is used equally often as a synonym for deep soul-searching and as an excuse for flaky behavior.
photos: Kinga Cichewicz.
Just when I thought that being single in Berlin couldn’t possibly get any harder, the level of difficulty has skyrocketed because of the pandemic. It feels like suddenly, one is basically stripped of all the cool Berlin single life privileges but has to carry all of its burdens. Ironically, in pre-Corona times, singles would sometimes get annoyed by some of the very things that actually can bring us solace in the current circumstances of isolation.
Mum’s developed a new habit. Whenever I call home these days she likes to ask if I ‘have anyone special’ in my life. Her voice drops a little as she tiptoes around the question. Subsequently, my new habit is tiptoeing around the answer. Of course, I have lots of special people in my life but none of the ‘steady boyfriend’ variety to which I know she’s referring.
People often say that dating is a game. I have no idea what they mean by that, but the past few months of dating in Berlin has me thinking about the good, clean, family fun that is Uno. If you haven’t played the game in a while, here’s a quick refresher: each player is dealt a hand of cards that is, on the outset, as random as they get. There are colors, numbers, symbols, wild cards, draw two, draw four. There are so many combinations, the aim is to reduce your cards one-by-one. You know you’re doing well in the game when you’re left with a single card. As with any game, a good shuffle results in a better play. My recent dating experience has delivered a cross-section of men that is truly difficult to describe which means the cards in this game were shuffled by an evil genius.
The other day I spontaneously went to see the brand new Berlin movie Liebesfilm that was just released to cinemas. I hadn’t heard of the film before, to be honest – Berlin Bouncer has taken up most of the Berlin buzz I guess – so I didn’t have any specific expectations of the flick.
But to my delight, I was really enjoying what I was seeing. In contrast to most Berlin movies or TV shows of the last years, this film did not portrait the city and its inhabitants in a stylized and overdramatized kind of way. It felt very real and honest which made the film and its characters incredibly likable. Even that kooky, trashy little party at the beginning of the film felt like a much more earnest representation of Berlin nightlife than any exaggerated techno rave in some kind of stunning location that doesn’t even look like anything that would exist in Berlin – we’ve seen in too many times in many other movies already.
The story is as simple as it gets: Two unlikely lovers find themselves – completely wasted – in a party and start a joyful love affair. The snotty, rebellious attitude of them perfectly captures the personality of the archetype Berliner: totally impossible but also adorable at the same time. And even though this film is not really about the city itself at all I feel like I rarely saw a movie that felt more “Berlin” like this one.
illustrations: Berk Karaoglu.
I once compared the struggle of finding a soulmate in Berlin to doing groceries on a Sunday in that it only seems possible on limited occasions and in selected spots. Without acquiring a detailed schedule, you may just end up investing much hope and energy into an effort that won’t get you any further than the glass door through which you can only cast a longing gaze on what could have been. But since growing bitter seems to be the cardinal sin of undesired singlehood, it’s probably best to laugh it off and try to move forward. To help you with that, we’ve collected some ridiculous dating fails – since we all know the funniest ones tend to be not your own.
One could argue that being forced to sit in front of someone who, as it turns out, clearly shouldn’t have been granted that benefit of a doubt is bad enough, but some dating fails are just a bit more spectacular than that. Not only do they leave you wishing you never left home, but sometimes even make you feel like maybe it’s time to leave town.
photo: Katja Stückrath.
Everyday life in Berlin is often compared to a very forgiving journey into the uncharted depths of your own identity and Berliners aren’t exactly known for keeping their promises. That might be one reason why New Year’s resolutions tend to fall into the same category as the signs prohibiting alcohol consumption on the U-Bahn – we are aware of them. To a varying extent.
But New Year’s resolutions don’t actually have to be these dreamed-up, unrealistic visions. We came up with 5 examples of positive change and some practical advice on how you could try implementing them into your Berlin life.
photos: Alicia Kassebohm
The following guest-article is brought to us by our favorite Berlin-based Yoga teacher and founder of Your Space Michaela Aue who is making the iHeartBerlin team sweat like animals and giggle like kids in all of her classes.
Berlin is Yoga heaven but Berlin men can be a Yoga hell. But before I go into this in detail let me tell you just a bit about me. I am yoga teacher living and working in Berlin for many years now. My best friend would probably describe me as a white-wearing creative chaos of some sort. For most of my adult life I have been consumed with the search of the ‘Mind-Body-Connection’. Sounds so cheesy, but it is so true. Some might call it ‘the moment of bliss’ while others call it ‘being in your center’. The balance between body and mind is probably something we can all agree on for now.
illustrations: Berk Karaoglu
Location: Berlin. Display Name: Emojis that describe me + Emoji indicating sexual preferences. Edit Profile. About Me: Next time I’m opening up to someone is my autopsy. Looking for: Question mark. Relationship Status: Single.
Honestly, I think I never dated! That doesn’t mean that I have never gone on something that could be described as a date, or that I have never frequently seen a love interest of mine, but, ‘dating’ in a form that also my mum would agree with me on the term. The kinda story that begins with you meeting person X at a party of a friend, and then it slowly, and mutually grows into something. Dating in 2018 is different. We forgot how to flirt, we swipe. We can’t send a subtle smile through the room, we tap. And we don’t have the courage to say “Hi”, we leave “You’re hot” comments on Instagram waiting for a direct message. And when it comes to gays, you are not seeing one but four different guys at a time. In Berlin, you can’t just rely on that one guy because, first of all, he’s probably gonna have a shelf of dick to choose from, and he might just randomly stop talking to you, one WhatsApp message to another – Mhmm, the most beautiful psychopathic disorder of the 2010’s: Ghosting. Read on…