Hi Mum, Yeah Berlin’s Great! Someone Wanted to Pee on My Face

Hi Mum, Yeah Berlin’s Great! Someone Wanted to Pee on My Face

Mum’s developed a new habit. Whenever I call home these days she likes to ask if I ‘have anyone special’ in my life. Her voice drops a little as she tiptoes around the question. Subsequently, my new habit is tiptoeing around the answer. Of course, I have lots of special people in my life but none of the ‘steady boyfriend’ variety to which I know she’s referring.

People often say that dating is a game. I have no idea what they mean by that, but the past few months of dating in Berlin has me thinking about the good, clean, family fun that is Uno. If you haven’t played the game in a while, here’s a quick refresher: each player is dealt a hand of cards that is, on the outset, as random as they get. There are colors, numbers, symbols, wild cards, draw two, draw four. There are so many combinations, the aim is to reduce your cards one-by-one. You know you’re doing well in the game when you’re left with a single card. As with any game, a good shuffle results in a better play. My recent dating experience has delivered a cross-section of men that is truly difficult to describe which means the cards in this game were shuffled by an evil genius.

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Trainspotting Berlin: Don’t Forget to Smile on the U7

Trainspotting Berlin: Don’t Forget to Smile on the U7

Collecting small anecdotes of transitory moments.

I sit down on one of these uncomfortable metal benches in indecisive greys and blues. Rathaus-Neukölln. 4.30h. Saturday morning.
Can’t figure out if I’m still drunk or already hungover.

The party was too long, the re-fills too many, and–of course–this cute Brazilian had to open a ‘Berliner Luft’.

I look up, left and right; wondering which interior-designer figured eggshells-vomit was a fitting color choice for public transport…
But then again–The U7-line dates back to the 1930s, times when brown was en vogue.

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Liebesfilm: A Romantic Movie That Couldn’t Be More Berlin

Liebesfilm: A Romantic Movie That Couldn’t Be More Berlin

The other day I spontaneously went to see the brand new Berlin movie Liebesfilm that was just released to cinemas. I hadn’t heard of the film before, to be honest – Berlin Bouncer has taken up most of the Berlin buzz I guess – so I didn’t have any specific expectations of the flick.

But to my delight, I was really enjoying what I was seeing. In contrast to most Berlin movies or TV shows of the last years, this film did not portrait the city and its inhabitants in a stylized and overdramatized kind of way. It felt very real and honest which made the film and its characters incredibly likable. Even that kooky, trashy little party at the beginning of the film felt like a much more earnest representation of Berlin nightlife than any exaggerated techno rave in some kind of stunning location that doesn’t even look like anything that would exist in Berlin – we’ve seen in too many times in many other movies already.

The story is as simple as it gets: Two unlikely lovers find themselves – completely wasted – in a party and start a joyful love affair. The snotty, rebellious attitude of them perfectly captures the personality of the archetype Berliner: totally impossible but also adorable at the same time. And even though this film is not really about the city itself at all I feel like I rarely saw a movie that felt more “Berlin” like this one.

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3 True Berlin Stories of Ridiculous Dating Fails

3 True Berlin Stories of Ridiculous Dating Fails

illustrations: Berk Karaoglu. 

I once compared the struggle of finding a soulmate in Berlin to doing groceries on a Sunday in that it only seems possible on limited occasions and in selected spots. Without acquiring a detailed schedule, you may just end up investing much hope and energy into an effort that won’t get you any further than the glass door through which you can only cast a longing gaze on what could have been. But since growing bitter seems to be the cardinal sin of undesired singlehood, it’s probably best to laugh it off and try to move forward. To help you with that, we’ve collected some ridiculous dating fails – since we all know the funniest ones tend to be not your own.

One could argue that being forced to sit in front of someone who, as it turns out, clearly shouldn’t have been granted that benefit of a doubt is bad enough, but some dating fails are just a bit more spectacular than that. Not only do they leave you wishing you never left home, but sometimes even make you feel like maybe it’s time to leave town.

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Love in Berlin: Intimate Portraits of Berlin Couples

Love in Berlin: Intimate Portraits of Berlin Couples

The intimate photography project comecloser.berlin is the creation of Berlin-based photographer Julia Liebisch and captures the dynamic of a variety of different couples from Berlin. Her curiosity and devotion towards authentic documentary photography lead her towards the idea of capturing people’s most precious possession – the love towards their significant other. She is devoted to capturing real life and imperfect stories, far away from the staged images, our eyes are already very used to daily on advertisement and social media.

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5 Classic Berlin New Year’s Resolutions (and How to Not Fail at them Completely)

5 Classic Berlin New Year’s Resolutions (and How to Not Fail at them Completely)

photo: Katja Stückrath. 

Everyday life in Berlin is often compared to a very forgiving journey into the uncharted depths of your own identity and Berliners aren’t exactly known for keeping their promises. That might be one reason why New Year’s resolutions tend to fall into the same category as the signs prohibiting alcohol consumption on the U-Bahn – we are aware of them. To a varying extent.

But New Year’s resolutions don’t actually have to be these dreamed-up, unrealistic visions. We came up with 5 examples of positive change and some practical advice on how you could try implementing them into your Berlin life.

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Why the Fuck Are You Ghosting Me?

Why the Fuck Are You Ghosting Me?

illustrations: Berk Karaoglu

Location: Berlin. Display Name: Emojis that describe me + Emoji indicating sexual preferences. Edit Profile. About Me: Next time I’m opening up to someone is my autopsy. Looking for: Question mark. Relationship Status: Single.

Honestly, I think I never dated! That doesn’t mean that I have never gone on something that could be described as a date, or that I have never frequently seen a love interest of mine, but, ‘dating’ in a form that also my mum would agree with me on the term. The kinda story that begins with you meeting person X at a party of a friend, and then it slowly, and mutually grows into something. Dating in 2018 is different. We forgot how to flirt, we swipe. We can’t send a subtle smile through the room, we tap. And we don’t have the courage to say “Hi”, we leave “You’re hot” comments on Instagram waiting for a direct message. And when it comes to gays, you are not seeing one but four different guys at a time. In Berlin, you can’t just rely on that one guy because, first of all, he’s probably gonna have a shelf of dick to choose from, and he might just randomly stop talking to you, one WhatsApp message to another – Mhmm, the most beautiful psychopathic disorder of the 2010’s: Ghosting. Read on…

Staying in Love with Berlin

Staying in Love with Berlin

photo: Mike Kotsch

You fell in love with Berlin, the vibrant party location that sometimes forgets it’s supposed to be a capital and acts like a huge open air techno festival instead. It felt good, so you thought you’d stay, taking your relationship with Berlin to the next level – calling it your home. But every single commitment drags along its gnarly twin – monotony.

Now that you’ve dropped your anchor here, that morning glimpse of the Fernsehturm on your daily commute may not feel quite as exciting as it used to. Even the most unique sights can grow old, and what draws your attention instead is the smell of piss and trash lying all along the curbside.

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A Dating Fairytale: Hansel & Gretel in Berlin

A Dating Fairytale: Hansel & Gretel in Berlin

photos: Felix Russell-Saw

Sometimes I wonder if our generation is more obsessed with fairy tales than previous ones. Faced with a reality of the gig-economy, serial dating and an all too uncertain future, who can really blame us? And honestly, nothing prepares you for life in Berlin quite like a steady diet of stories about abandonment, witches and cute animals. The revelation that fairy tales are not real (for better or worse) is one of the milder let-downs of adult life. As grown-ups, we just have to conjure up our own magic. The good thing about this is that we can be whoever we want to be. Siding with the witch, especially if she is beautiful and satisfyingly revengeful might be the best choice in the end.

I have met a lot of people in Berlin and despite an excellent memory I surely don’t remember all of them. Few people became part of my personal lore and some just vanished. And there is one that managed to do both: I call him Hansel.

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I tried “6 Unique Ways to Meet Quality People” in Berlin

I tried “6 Unique Ways to Meet Quality People” in Berlin

illustrations: Berk Karaoglu

I came across an article offering “Unique Ways to Meet Quality People”. Since dating apps have become a haunt for the visually unfortunate and dull over the last years I was keen to find other options to acquire a “quality” mate. Please humor me when I say that I’m not quite sure how to spot a “quality person” in the wild and the guide offers little advice on that matter. But I wasn’t going to be stopped by such a minor obstacle. I followed the instructions step by step (or as close as personally possible). Here is what happened…

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