photos: Kinga Cichewicz.
Just when I thought that being single in Berlin couldn’t possibly get any harder, the level of difficulty has skyrocketed because of the pandemic. It feels like suddenly, one is basically stripped of all the cool Berlin single life privileges but has to carry all of its burdens. Ironically, in pre-Corona times, singles would sometimes get annoyed by some of the very things that actually can bring us solace in the current circumstances of isolation.
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by Michalina | Stories
photos: Pornceptual
Location: Berlin. Display Name: German flag – English flag – Arrow sign – Random vegetable – Teddy Emoji?. Edit Profile. About Me: I re-downloaded this 5 minutes ago, didn’t come up with something cool just yet. Sorry. Looking for: Uhm… Relationship Status: Single.
It’s a new year, a blank page before me, a land full of opportunity to… regain my optimism about finding love, even in Berlin. Ok, maybe not love, let me downsize this, someone who asks me for my name and not my dick size… Yeah, that should be doable, right? 2018? You game? In a city where gays from all over the world basically live door-to-door, (Literally, I’m pretty sure my next-door neighbor is gay) it can’t be that hard to find someone who’s compatible in bed – watching Disney movies, eating chocolate chip ice cream and … Oh wow, romantic comedies fucked up my expectations! Anyways, hopeful, and possibly delusional, I log into my dating app of choice and … Aaah that was why…!
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by Andy | People, Stories
photos: Stella Manouseli
Location: Berlin. Display Name: … Remember to pick a super funny and witty name later. Edit Profile. About Me: …Uhm… Well, twenty-something, decent height, well proportioned, I’d say, comparably smart. Looking for… Mr. Right …or Mr. Right now (?). Relationship Status: Single.
That’s probably what I typed into some dating app 5 years ago after moving to Berlin. Things changed, but that one thing hasn’t: Relationship status: Single! Single, Single, SINGLE! Let’s be honest here, I want a boyfriend, no denying that. We all want a professional cuddling partner. So, no shade! People have said I’m “damn cute”, “oh so hilarious”, “definite bf material” and I have spent a whole lot of time on living up to my own visual expectations. Time that I could have easily used on pizza, beer, and Sex and the City binge watching. Still, I can tell many bed stories, but no love story. So, seriously guys, why the fuck am I single? But, as the hopeless, self-ironic optimist that I am. I see every awkward date and disturbing sexual encounter as a funny, absurd life lesson to learn from, laugh about and carry on. And, as I am such a talkative person I will let y’all participate now, life lesson by life lesson. And maybe by the end of it all I will write ‘Lesson #378: How I got my boyfriend’ … but first things first:
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by Andy | Stories
As one can tell from the drastic shift in the outdoor clothing of many a Berliner (their flamboyant outfits are no longer covered by the oversized black/leopard print furs), spring is almost upon us. Tattoos will soon be exposed, blankets will be thrown on the Mauerpark ground, and you’ll drain Sterni in massive quantities. ‘Tis the season for love, but you’re still hung up on your latest flame? Unbreak your heart following these 5 easy steps.
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by Michalina | Stories
artworks: Karla Marie Bentzen
As if dating in Berlin wasn’t already hard enough, keeping a relationship – especially in a way that both parties are happy – is even more complicated. The struggles you might possibly face will sometimes make the single life seem like the better option. But as with many things in life one universal rule applies here as well: No pain, no gain. Relationships require a constant effort from both sides, otherwise they will go horribly wrong sooner than you expect. And the amount of pain and disappointment that you experience during a failed relationship will make you want to do things you didn’t think you were capable of.
The artist Karla Marie Bentzen has dedicated her new series Crimes of Passion to this topic. She selected some of the most shocking romantic tragedies of the past that have been subject to tabloid sensationalism including the O.J. Simpson case, the late Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez from TLC who burned a house down because of a conflict with her boyfriend, and the story of adult entertainer Amy Fisher. Karla turned these unbelievable stories into paintings that are tongue-in-cheek comments on modern day topics such as polyamory, violent relationships, and raw unbridled emotion.
As far as these tragic love stories seem away from Berlin, their essence still applies to the hardships of dating here. Observing the quirky paintings reminded me of some of the wild stories that I have heard and witnessed here in Berlin. Obviously the victims of the love tragedies here haven’t responded as violent as in the the artworks. But they sure all thought about and and felt the impulse of violence. I felt a inspired to list some of the most typical cases of failed relationships spiced with a little wishful vengeance… Enjoy the relationships gone wrong – Berlin-style.
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by Frank | Art, Stories
via DRLMA
Valentine’s Day – the romantic movies, the perfectly cute couple across the street, the expectations! They all put us poor singles of Berlin to shame. No, we have not found the love of our life yet to buy flowers or a nice dinner. No Mr. or Ms. Right. In fact, we haven’t even found Mr. or Ms. Right Now! No love of the moment or fling for the weekend or anything that even resembles a date. And if we should find somebody to go out with, the dating dilemma transforms us into nervous wrecks.
But who is to blame? You want to point your finger at Berlin or at Tinder or at the neo-liberal capitalistic society in which we all live. But it isn’t so easy, is it? Let’s follow my wild speculations after the jump and maybe we find some tips for our next flirting moves.
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by Claudio | Stories
As we already discussed in the Dating Dilemma, Berlin is quite the uphill struggle when it comes to finding a perfect soul mate. After a while of living here you will realize that getting to know somebody is crazy difficult. To sum up the reasons in a simple statistic: One third of the single population is proud to be a slut, one third is infected with love resistance and the last third (actually the one where not all the hope is lost) got their heart broken not only once or twice but at least let’s say around a dozen times (by the other two thirds).
But listen up, I am not telling you all this because I want to demotivate you. Actually I hope to inspire you to break out of the circle of fear of rejection and start flirting again. Especially in summer, flirting can be so much fun and the most unexpected pleasant encounter is waiting just at the next open air party, flea market stroll or barbecue on the rooftop. To prepare yourself for it I will teach you how to write love letters, have trust in coincidence, make use of technological advances and some more ideas to restart flirting after the jump.
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by Claudio | Stories
photo: I Hate Flash
I pronounce myself guilty for not having written a flirting in Berlin column for a quite a while. To be honest, I was not really in the flirting mood in the last months. The reasons: the classic Dating Dilemma. If you have no dates you feel empty and like nothing really exciting is happening anymore. Just if you are meeting someone, your emotions (or let’s just say my emotions) are going overboard so fucking easy that it is hard to handle all the normal things in life. The only good thing about the Dating Dilemma in Berlin: You are not the only one. Nearly all my single friends are in the same excruciating situation. Not meeting somebody is boring but meeting somebody makes your nerves go nuts. Why is it so hard in Berlin just to find the right person to be happy with?
The guys from We are now are going out on the streets of Berlin asking people about it. All of that gives no answers to the big WHY AM I STILL SINGLE question. But at least you realize that you are not alone. Everybody has the same struggles, insecurities and weird thoughts about love. But maybe learning to love is truly about that. Sharing your struggles with same-minded people and also find a way to laugh away the little fears inside you. Watch the video after the jump.
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by Claudio | Stories
all photos: Im Gegenteil
Being single in Berlin and wanting to change it is not the easiest thing. Paradoxically the quantity of possibilites to meet and hook up with someone seems to go inversely proportional to the actual flirting happening in this city. That is why I gave you some advice on how to flirt on the public transport not so long ago. Did it help? Eventually. But we cannot ride in eternity in the single Ringbahn just waiting for the right guy or girl sitting next to us. So maybe the intrepid Berlin dweller wants to try his luck online hoping for cupid hitting him through the window of his browser.
Until now I would have told you that there is no way to flirt online with dignity. There is always the stinky slime of cheap superficiality all over it of choosing someone because his profile pic looks sexy, nice or interesting (whatever you are looking for). But two girls with entrepreneurial spirit finally did something I was thinking about in years without a concrete solution: Re-inventing online dating.
Im Gegenteil is a curated interview magazine featuring Berlin’s most interesting bachelors and bachelorettes. The look and feel, is very personal and the photos are high-quality and remind me of Freunde von Freunden, which is big compliment. So far so good. Still the page got me thinking and raised a couple of questions which I also discussed with my friends. Would we like to be portrayed on Im Gegenteil? Would we write somebody who is interviewed there? What happens with the interview after the single is not single anymore? Does it remain as an online memory of desperates times? Some personal answers after the jump.
UPDATE: Don’t miss a live reading event of the best stories from the Im Gegenteil blog taking place at Backfabrik on Wednesday, May 20th 2015.
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by Claudio | People, Stories
