Why Do Straight Girls Go To Gay Parties

From cheap, awesome gays bars such as Möbel Olfe to highly sexual institutions like Lab.Oratory, it is no secret that Berlin’s queer scene has been under the spotlight for a long time now. Considering the fact that parties like Homopatik are causing insanely long queues in front of ://about blank every month, one might be tempted to argue that what was long meant as safe haven for the queer community has slowly become a refuge for straight people wanting to have their cake and eat it too…

“They’re not letting women in so don’t bother queueing,” somebody told me a few months ago while I stood in line to get into a gay party. I was in fact going there to meet my best friend who happens to be gay and I was a little bit disappointed to find out that I did get rejected first – I ended up getting in in the end but that’s another story.

Some of you might be wondering why a girl would want to go to a gay party, though. To be honest, this is a question I had never asked myself before. I have been going to ‘gay parties’ for as long as I can remember, most of the time simply because my friends were going and wanted me around. However, I will try to answer it without sounding obnoxious. I believe I am an open-minded human being and I hope I don’t make too many faux-pas while sharing my two cents on this topic.

When googling “straight girls gay parties”, all I could find were countless articles written by gay guys begging straight girls to either avoid going to gay bars and clubs or to behave and stop ruining everyone’s night. Seems obvious, in a way. Nobody wants a large group of drunk girls yelling at each other while you’re trying to sweet talk your way into a hot guy’s bed. However, that’s equally true for any kind of party.


photo: SXX SELLS

Another argument that frequently comes up is that girls are tired of getting hit on at ‘regular’ clubs – but that doesn’t really apply to Berlin, does it? The countless articles that have been written about Berlin boys’ inability to flirt have already said it all: unless you go out and party at Matrix, your chances of getting unwanted yet insistent attention from a guy are close to zero.

What could apply to Berlin more, however, is that some straight girls are taking their one shot at witnessing Berlin’s hedonist side by attending gay parties and hoping to get a glimpse of something crazy or sexual enough to make for a good story to tell back home. I hope you know that it is not a good reason to go because quite frankly these kinds of situations are easy enough to stumble upon just about anywhere here.

Also, if you do go to a gay party and end up seeing something sexual happen, don’t stare, don’t act shocked and do not talk about it. You’re going to come across as an intolerant idiot and nobody wants that, right? If you do tell your friends and they also act shocked, then you might in fact all be intolerant idiots and the bouncers shouldn’t have let you into the club in the first place.

So, do we maybe go for the music? Sure, there must be some truth to that, although most DJs do not exclusively play gay parties. To be honest, finding a party with good music in Berlin isn’t rocket science, so why go to gay parties for this? The only exception might be venues like Südblock which hosts interesting, future-oriented club nights such as Creamcake where the kind of music that is played can’t be heard just about anywhere. But Südblock wants to be a place for inclusion rather than label itself as a gay venue so that’s an invalid argument.

However, maybe the reason straight girls go to gay parties is much more simple. Maybe we just don’t care if our night out doesn’t involve making out with a drunken boy we wouldn’t usually allow anywhere near us? Maybe we just want to enjoy our friends’ company. Friends that happen to be gay and that may or may not want to meet someone that night. Maybe we are just awesome wingwomen or our friends’ favorite dance partners.

Whichever reason turns out to be true, I guess our energy should rather be spent embracing the fact that we are lucky enough to be living in a city where we get to meet – and party with – an incredibly diverse crowd of interesting, beautiful and tolerant people. No matter who they like to share their bed (or a toilet cubicle) with.

Text: Berlin Dating Disaster

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The Berlin Dating Disaster writes about sex and nightlife in Berlin on her Twitter account and on überlin.

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